Fed-Up Mother Wrote ‘Tough Love’ Letter To Her 13-Year-Old Son – Parents Everywhere Applauded Her

The teenage years are tough for everyone, including the parents. As your children begin to grow into young adults before your eyes, they often go through some growing pains in the process. Often this includes attempting to assert their own independence, but it doesn’t always come out in the best way. After experiencing this with her son, this mom wrote a letter of tough love reminding her son that he was, in fact, not quite as grown and independent as he thinks.

Mom Writes Letter of Tough Love to Put Her Son in His Place

Most often when disciplining a disobedient teenager, parents resort to taking things away from them: TV, phone, new clothes, or hangouts with friends. Entirely fed up with the way her son had been behaving, a single mum who went by the name of Estella Havisham decided enough was enough. In 2015, she wrote a letter to her 13-year-old son Aaron, outlining that if he was going to continue to disrespect her authority, then he would have to start taking on more “adult” responsibilities.

Though some people have commented saying that perhaps she was a bit harsh, most are very supportive of her use of tough love. The letter, pictured below, certainly gave Aaron a quick dose of reality.

Dear Aaron,
Since you seem to have forgotten that you are only 13 and I’m the parent, and that you won’t be controlled, I guess you will need to learn a lesson in independence. Also, as you threw in my face that you are making money now, it will be easier to buy back all the items I bought for you in the past. If you would like your lamp/lightbulbs or access to the internet, you will need to pay your share of costs: 
Rent: $430
Electricity: $116
Internet: $21
Food: $150.

Also you will need to empty the trash Mon, Wed & Friday as well as sweep and vacuum those days. You will need to keep your bathroom clean weekly, prepare your own meals and clean up after yourself. If you fail to do so I will charge you a $30 maid fee for every day I have to do it. If you decide you would rather be MY CHILD again instead of a roommate, we can negotiate terms.” (1)

Image Credit: Estella Havisham | Twitter

Unintentionally Viral

Estella didn’t intend for the picture of the letter to go viral, in fact, she didn’t intend to post it publicly at all. She meant to just send it to a few family members. By the time she realized what had happened, she decided there was no reason to take it down, as it was inspiring other parents to give their unruly teenagers some much-needed tough love as well. (1)

How to Raise Kids to Be Respectful 

Raising kids to be respectful and contributing members not just to your household, but to their communities and society as a whole, is no easy task. It certainly goes far beyond just giving tough love every once in a while.


Kids, no matter how old they are, need limits and expectations to be set and stuck to. This will help guide them to being self-disciplined in the future. For example, setting the precedent that no TV is allowed until all of their homework is finished will help them when they go off to college and they no longer have someone watching over their shoulder. (2, 4)

In addition to that, you must have a system in place to discipline your children when the rules you have established are not followed. A warning method, for instance, in which repercussions of their actions get progressively more strict. It is imperative that you are consistent with that system, no ifs, ands, or buts. If you discipline them for something one day and not another, the lesson behind the rules and ensuing discipline if they are broken is lost. (2, 4)

Reward Good Behavior

It’s easy to fall in a pattern of being on high alert for bad behavior to the point where good behavior goes unnoticed or at least appears to. Anytime you see your child or teen doing something good, be it treating someone with kindness, doing their chores without being asked, or offering to help out beyond what is typically expected of them, show your appreciation. (5)

A simple “thank you” goes a long way to your child feeling seen doing good things, not just when they mess up. If you can, extend that to “Thank you for clearing the table without being asked, it really makes my evening better.” or “That was so kind of you to hold the door for that person, I’m happy I have such a thoughtful daughter/son.” (5)

Your thank-yous’ can go beyond just words, as well. If when disciplining our children we tend to take things away, then we should reward them for doing something good. Again, these don’t have to be elaborate or expensive. Tell them to invite their best friend over for a sleepover, take them to the movies, let them get their ears pierced – little things that say “I see what you did, I appreciate it, and I want to reward you for it”. (5)

Related Posts

Gordon Ramsay’s Staff Takes a Knee as he Tosses Colin Kaepernick from Hell’s Kitchen

When Chef Gordon Ramsay saw former NFL quarterback and national traitor, Colin Kaepernick, sit down at the famed Hell’s Kitchen restaurant in Las Vegas, he couldn’t let it go. He…

Read more

Brittney Griner’s Wife Cherelle Gives Grim Update On WNBA Star” “The crime and the punishment is disproportionate, she’s 100% not okay”

Brittney Griner’s wife Cherelle gave a grim update on the WNBA star after her appeal failed and it seems likely she will spend 8 years in the harsh conditions of…

Read more

Men Brutally Attack Cop — Patrol Car Door Opens, Fur Missile Launches

A group of thugs jumped a lone police officer on a back road and began viciously stabbing him with a box cutter. Thinking they had the upper hand, they were…

Read more

Roseanne Turns Down $4 Million Spot On The View: “I’d Punch Whoopi”

Roseanne Barr was down, nonetheless she undoubtedly wasn’t out. Her standup current on Fox was merely the tip of the iceberg. A Los Angeles jury handed her $208 million and…

Read more

As the song Alleluia began to play, the skater brought tears to the eyes of all of the judges as well as the audience… Take a look at it here…

Even though many people do not have the necessary skating talents, Taryn Jurgensen is unable to imagine a period in her life when she did not participate in figure skating….

Read more

Family Is Shocked When A Stranger Slammed This Note Down On Their Table During Dinner

Katie Leach was excited to get out of the house for a family dinner at Texas Roadhouse. The popular chain of eaters is known for its fun environment that caters…

Read more

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *